TurkeyMonkey

Huh, that’s something you don’t see in Hartsdale, NY.

I don’t know why, but this feels like a complete and total validation of our decision to move to South Jersey.

The really cool thing is that it’s a view of our house while it’s still under construction by the guy we bought it from. I’m guessing this was probably recorded back in the late Spring.

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Since Ana has politely informed me that there will be no gadget gifts purchased for me this year — by her or anyone else — I’ve now come up with an alternative gift idea: Absinthe.

But not just any absinthe. I’m looking for one made in depths of the Northeast Philly.

Yes, it’s true, according to Philly mag, Philadelphia Distilling is hard at work on a variety of absinthe due to go on sale in time for the holidays. It’ll be called Vieux Carré Absinthe Superieure and cost $55.

Presumably, it’ll be available later this month, right about the moment the auto business goes under, the newspapers declare bankruptcy, and I really, really need a hallucinogenic drink.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks to the “Turkeynizer” iPhone app, I can finally have my revenge on Ana for kicking my butt at ping pong. Behold, the Ana turkey.

The 21st Century Begins Now! Unless that is, you pay to get Esquire delivered monthly to your home, in which case, eh, the 20th Century cover treatments will do.

Am I the only Esquire subscriber who finds it incredibly lame that Esquire’s much-hyped 75th anniversary issue — the one with the e-ink cover made up of moving words and flashing images — arrived in my mailbox this week with, oh, about zero e-ink actually on it?

Turns out that Esquire subscribers just got a plain ol’ typographical treatment, while the whiz-bang, circuitry-packed “collector’s” version went to the news stands. Maybe it’s just me, but shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Putting aside those sour grapes for a second, it’s also astonishing just how blah the high-tech cover actually is. From the early reports, I was expecting a full page of electronic ink, not a 1/5-page gimmick with the bland text “The 21st Century Begins Now” repeated again and again. That hardly seems like a David Granger cover blurb, and it makes me wonder why they didn’t spend a little more time coming up with something clever to say, rather than merely a clever device on which to say it. As Wired points out, Time got more mileage out of the comparatively primitive mirror they put on their cover a year and a half back.

So, then, why am I complaining about not getting the cover?

Well, it’s the principle of the thing. I love Esquire, I’ve subscribed for years. Even if the cover is a dud, I think my subscription fee should entitle me to said dud.

Live from the Mann family’s kitchen, via Ted’s iPhone …

Why the hell did I ever offer to fix Ana’s computer? Bad idea. Very bad idea.

Replacing the hard drive on an iBook is much harder than it sounds.

For years I’ve dealt with the maddening effects of Starbucks spitup — that horrible squirt of scalding coffee that shoots up when you run or walk briskly with an over-full cup.

At last, the jolly green mermaid (or, given the recent logo change, should I say, scantilly-clad brown mermaid?) has come up with a true innovation in coffee cup paraphanlia — a little green stopper to stop the spitup.

Bonus: the spout plug also has a long end that can be used as a stirrer.

For some reason, this made me unusually happy this morning.

The boxes are packed
One last night of parking woes
Dreaming of driveways

After our first attempt at buying a home in Haddonfield went kablooey — thanks mostly to an oil tank burried in the yard, black mold in the basement, and structural integrity problems all around — our second go-around has proved to be much less painful.

House No. 2 is in the same general neighborhood and is a total gut-job rehab. And, I’m happy to report, it passed inspection today with flying colors. Just four days til we close. No whammies, no whammies …